Feelings.

How does one ever understand how they feel? How do you know that you feel a particular way? Could it just be that we have them all wrong? What if happiness is just sadness and sadness is just anger? What if we can’t ever be truly happy? What if it’s just an illusion?

Of course,everyone wants to be happy,everyone wants to experience love at some point in life but what if this things don’t exist and there are only a way of keeping people hopeful or expectant. Is there such a thing as genuine happiness? If it’s real how does one attain it. How does one describe how they feel if they don’t know how to feel? Sometimes,it’s like we’re just going through the motions and not really living.

Everyday we wake up not knowing what the day will bring or what lies in store for us. We go about our lives not having any idea about our future but yet we keep striving in the hope that someday things will all work out in our favor. The world doesn’t care about how anyone feels it keeps going on and doesn’t wait for anyone and it doesn’t take breaks or pauses. As young people it’s difficult because sometimes it feels like you are all alone with no one to turn to for help and even if you asked for help no one will be able to help you because they don’t understand what it’s like,what it feels like to have a strong voice but not know how to use it,what it feels like to always talk to people and they never seem to listen or understand. It’s hard to not know what to do and to have no one to turn to when you need help. It’s hard to scream and no one hears you. It’s hard to ask for help and not receive the help you need. As a child,you look up to your parents for everything, you see them as heroes and you trust them with your whole life,but as you grow older and you become independent you begin to see your parents as human and weak because that’s all they ever were and will be. We make friends because we need companionship and we’re scared of being alone but what if we are meant to be alone? What if we can only be happy when we are alone?

The battle with our feelings and emotions is a really tough one and it takes a lot to be able to control it. Our reactions to situations is another tough one. We struggle to keep our emotions in check and sometimes when we feel ourselves slipping we try to reach out to people around us hoping they would understand but most times they don’t understand us and that makes it even more difficult. You question yourself and the things you do, you wonder why things happen to you, you question your entire existence. It can be a very rough experience.

Most people don’t know how to express themselves and how they feel about things and their reactions to situations around,different people have found ways to help them express themselves better but what if you don’t want people to know what you’re going through? What if you prefer to suffer in silence because you know people will never understand you? You feel like everything wrong in your life is happening because of you, you feel like a disappointment most of the time,it can be really tough. Do things ever get better or they just keep getting worse?

I really wish I had the answers to my question.

Eirene.