ALONE WORLD

Everyone lets you know that you're fortunate. That you have companions, family, a caring accomplice who all help you, thus substantially more.

They advise you to be appreciative - and you are. In any case, once in a while all of that can appear so… far off.

You struggle with your feelings of loneliness. You blame yourself for feeling this way. After all, you shouldn’t feel lonely – you have so much in life, so much love. But deep inside, you feel an emptiness that starts to consume you day by day. It’s indescribable and numbing, and it’s ever-present.

You feel desolate

Consistently and night. Then you feel embarrassed in light of the fact that it makes you sound unreasonable.

Nonetheless, everything they don't say to you about dejection is that you probably won't be separated from everyone else, except you can in any case be for lorn.

It’s a vicious cycle that never stops. You wish you could just feel happy and accepted. You want to feel fulfilled and satisfied, you want to feel less lonely.

But you don’t know how. This feeling consumes you and turns you into your worst enemy. You start to alienate those who want to be around you, because, in your head, it won’t change anything.

You feel lonely.

Every day feels like torture filled with endless loneliness. And you don’t know how to stop it. You lock yourself in your apartment with your own thoughts hoping that this feeling is temporary and will fix itself.

For the longest time, I never talked about my insecurities, issues, failures, mistakes, and any troubles that I had been going through because I always wanted to be perceived in a certain way. It was difficult for me to tell anyone when I messed up.

It was not easy to admit I had insecurities. It was very hard for me to share my fears with someone or talk about my traumas or phobias. I didn’t want people to get the wrong impression of me. I didn't believe anybody should know my shortcomings and use them against me sometime in the future.

This wound up making me show a few layers of myself and keep different ones stowed away. I didn't open up with another person about the thing was consuming my brain the most in light of the fact that I needed to seem extreme and as though I had everything in perfect order.

I continued to be this way for quite a while, which caused me to feel unbelievably desolate on the grounds that I was going through everything all alone.

I didn't address anybody about my uneasiness or gloom or any colossal apprehension I had about something. I didn't impart to anybody how terrible I had been doing of late. I didn't open up to anybody by any means till I met individuals en route who wouldn't hesitate to be open to me. Those individuals so fearlessly imparted to me their battles and their most profound depressed spots.

They confided in me enough to connect with me in their battles and recuperating ventures. They wouldn't hesitate to show me every one of their uncertainties and fill me in regarding the things they did and were embarrassed about. They weren't really frightened to show me this piece of themselves — this feeble, appalling, unfiltered, and crude side of them. Also, I couldn't resist the opportunity to feel the excellence of this.

TRUST IS BETTER TO SURVIVE

You trust that one day you'll awaken and not feel desolate by any means. You trust that you'll comprehend that this feeling travels every which way - and that it's not your shortcoming. You implore that this day will come. What's more, that it will feel like every one of the mists that were isolating you from bliss will scatter right away. You persistently trust that that day will come.